Unexpectedly & Excruciatingly Difficult: Gaining "New Poor" Membership

I've been financially insecure most of my life. Those that are born into poverty often return to it, even after finding some success in life. That's because poverty is a way of life that's learned, and like any other way people live, you can always tell when someone's new to it. Disability is what brought me back, but many are finding it later in life for the first time.

I can always tell when someone's poor, and I can always tell when they're relatively new to living on less than what they need. People go through a process that's new to many: the adjustment to living with persistent versions of what are usually temporary emotions, like vigilance from angst.

They usually give themselves away in very humble ways, like needing to approach but not knowing how, or by thinking that they are unique in what's happening to them and subsequently over-sharing.

And then, you get those that sudden poverty most traumatizes: those with fragile but extremely driven egos and implode consciously before they really finish blowing up financially. If you're new to not having what you need, I have some advice - from a feral latchkey 80s kid who snacked on government cheese.

Yeah. Google Government Cheese - it was a ... thing. Still is in some states.

Losing the privilege of being able to feel like you belong in this society is one of the most traumatic things that I believe a human being with an ego will ever experience. In order for poor and happy to not be mutually exclusive, it's the ego that has to go.

Egos and foreskins have something in common: if you're going to remove them, it's better to do it early, because adjusting to not having them later is more difficult.

And, egos, unfortunately, are way more complicated than a little snip.

I'd like to offer my perspectives in hopes that it helps people who find themselves going over the guard rails. Because right now, we're witnessing a consolidation of economic classes. Some of it is short term, yes, but these increasing bursts of constriction at the lower-middle level are up more and more, year over year.

Disability, AI, downsizing - all reasons that really great people fell out of society while living as responsibly as they could. It happens, and it's going to increase.

So, if you're looking ahead and realizing it's when not if you're going to hit the skids, here's a little realism, and some optimism, from a Gen-X guy who'se been through a few things:

This Isn't Supposed to Happen to Anyone.

The system, believe it or not, wasn't designed to stop caring about people for arbitrary reasons. It's just that very few give a shit that it doesn't while they still matter, so it never gets fixed. It is what it is.

Capitalism, as the realization of a free-market pipe dream that ballooned to the greatest experiment in democracy history has ever seen, always had "side lines" for those who fell on the field of play. This changed drastically during the industrial revolution and even more through the hyper growth of the last 60 years.

There are no more side lines. There are no more benches. There are no time-outs. The game has progressed to the point where the entire field is engulfed; if you fall, you get trampled.

The mere possibility of fraud will put help that you could urgently use chronically just out of your reach. You might have even voted for that, worried about your tax dollars being wasted. It's okay, you can forgive yourself.

It's not About You. And, You'll need a village.

The minute you allow yourself to think why is this happening to me? is the minute you start a vicious cycle in yourself that could take years to stop. Don't let it start. We're no more safer than the Dinosaurs were. Shit happens.

What matters very much, right now, is who you can become to the people around you who have the ability to help you carry your load. Take an inventory of stuff you can do for other people that doesn't cost you anything. Resume reviews? Electrical work? Computer help? You having back-up child care come through for you in a month might just depend on who you make friends with today.

Make a habit of not talking about yourself too much. Listen to people; don't wait to talk. Understand the real value of respect. Superficial chit chat is a luxury that people without means just don't f***ing have time for.

Think about how open you are to radical lifestyle changes. Because that's how people get through poverty with grace.

This Will Leave Scars.

From now on, you're probably going to get nervous when you see a utility or cable company work truck near your home, remembering the times you were terrified of being turned off any day.

Someone knocking on the door when you aren't expecting anyone might soon remind you of how it feels to live in fear of process servers, if your funds run out and you can't make credit card payments AND eat any longer.

You'll never want to talk on a phone again, after calling creditors repeatedly and asking for more and more time. But you will get good at finding ways to get automated systems to keep giving you extensions online.

You'll become more resourceful than you thought possible. Not all scars are bad.

Nobody Cares, and That's not your Problem.

While what's happening to you right now is extraordinary and terrifying, it's also more and more common. Homeless people have been disappearing in large groups all over the country. We have a problem.

It's not your job to make them listen. It's not your job to make <gestures at everything> this any better for the next person. You'll just be punching at smoke while never seeing the fire.

If you get out, be a way out for someone else. When you're broke, your activism needs to have action in it, not hashtags. Think about what activates you, how that serves you, and how that serves those around you. Make adjustments.

What You Need will Surprise You

You're going to sell a lot of stuff, if you haven't already. You're going to make increasingly poorer financial decisions as your survival shifts from yearly, to monthly, to weekly, and ultimately daily, in desperation to slow it down.

You're going to learn to do without. You're going to find new snacks. You're probably going to get healthier because stretching grocery funds means avoiding the more expensive processed stuff, and learning how to soak beans and braise.

You're a way better cook than you think you are, even if you think you're already pretty good.

Sustainable Gets Cheaper.

Most people I've met (myself included) who have had chronic, almost bipolar levels of economic success in life manage to stabilize once they find a new life style groove that they can sustain.

Know your bankruptcy options while you still have some funds, if possible, even if you plan to just be tight for a few months. You never know what's going to shift, or when the next tech revolution will replace another few million people.

Once the rug has been pulled out from under you a few times, you pay close attention to where you plant your feet. Explore everything you can do that others might value.

You're Going To Make It

You're way more likely to get out of poverty if you experience it later in life; it's almost always temporary when it's not known as a lifestyle. But, the older you get, the longer it's going to take to find the next thing. I'm sure those of you over 35 are nodding as you read.'

When you get yourself back up, be ready for the next punch to hit twice as hard. Get a disability contingency in place.

But don't lose what you're about to learn; don't lose the knowledge needed to not be scared when the floor falls out because you know you've seen that before.

And for f**k sakes, pull someone else out with you, when you can. You don't ever need charity navigator again, ok?

Thanks for reading.